Zoom-in Online

Admission: I'm a pop tart at heart. So, in case you're not glued to FOX three nights a week like me, we're smack in the middle of Season 7 of American Idol. I, like everyone else on the planet, am predicting a resounding win by that little sprite David Archuleta. He is the epitome of why I watch Idol at all: that this ball of talent and purity exists is kind of miraculous.

So for David, and all of my favorites from the greatest reality show ever (and because iTunes just began offering Idol performances), here's the mix of all mixes: All Idol All-Stars, from the winners to the almost-winners to those we loved and forgot, in order of actual long-term superstar potential.

1. "Behind These Hazel Eyes" - Kelly Clarkson (Season 1)

We're starting with the greatest Idol, the first, the lovely, the big-lunged and adorable Kelly, and the song I hear most often in delis and retail outlets throughout Brooklyn. You go, girl. Just keep belting it out and it will all be okay. Here's a video of Kel singing "Because of You" (a song she wrote) nearly a capella, as Exhibit A of her awesomeness.

2. "Jesus Take The Wheel" - Carrie Underwood (Season 4)

Undeniably talented, hot, and classy. Musically, not my favorite thing in the world, but she's the total package.

3. "Wanted Dead or Alive" - Daughtry (Chris) (Season 5)

This one's for my sister, who called Daughtry's superstardom the first week of Season 5. When he sang this version of "Wanted Dead or Alive," I realized she was right. Then his self-titled record released in 2006, becoming the fastest-selling debut rock album in history. Devil horns, man! Rock on.

4. "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" - Jennifer Hudson (Season 3)

Another not-even-close-to-Idol-Winner who kicked the crap out of her role in Dreamgirls and wandered off with an Oscar. Incredible. But I feel like there's something flukey about her success. Maybe it's because until now, she's really only done a (really good) Jennifer Holliday impression. So we shall wait for her debut record to see if she really has it.

5. "Shop Around" - David Archuleta (Season 7)

I'll keep the winner of Season 7, straight out of Murray High School in Murray, Utah, and direct from the Star Search stage, in the middle of the pack for now. He's still got to prove himself, and if he sings another Phil Collins song I may have to switch my loyalties to that dude with the dreadlocks. Regardless, David kicks the crap out of "Shop Around," which was already pretty amazing to being with. Here's the video, so you can hear the last note, which will blow your mind and possibly your ear drums. And while you're at it, watch his rendition of "Imagine." Have some Kleenex handy.

6. "When I See U" - Fantasia (Season 3)

I'm still holding out hope for my girl Fantasia, that hot mess. A cracked-out Tina Turner/Nina Simone/Mary J. Blige hybrid does have a place in this crazy mixed-up music business. Just give her time.

7. "Break Anotha" - Blake Lewis (Season 6)

Mini-Timberlake! Hipsters and tweens alike are down with Blakey. Continued success, my beat-boxing, faux-hawked friend!

8. "Moody's Mood For Love" - Elliot Yamin (Season 5)

Elliot, oh Elliot! How I love thee. But your 2007 debut album bombed. Maybe your new teeth have led you astray. I liked you with the bad haircut, worse teeth, and scrappy underdog fight. You were the greatest Number Three ever. This vocalese song, written by James Moody in the late 1940's as a jazz saxophone solo and subsequently butchered by Amy Winehouse (among others), seemed weirdly relevant and just plain good when Elliot Sang it on Season 5. Good luck, bro. (If you read this, consider covering Gino Vanelli's "I Just Wanna Stop.")

9. "Takin' It To The Streets" - Taylor Hicks (Season 5)

Taylor Hicks is the true Yacht Rock American Dream Come True, robbing Daughtry of his rightful title. Alas, the world didn't need another Michael McDonald. But he's good. If the Doobie Brothers do another reunion tour and MM is busy, give old Taylor a call.

10. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - Katharine McPhee (Season 5)

The biggest disappointment of all. I was all about Katharine during Season 5. But her uninspired debut record, her horrific performing skills (displayed on CBS Early Show back last summer), and her lack of charisma sunk McPhee into a Wikipedia footnote. Bummer. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was her best performance on Idol, helped by the fact that she strongly resembles a young Judy Garland.

11. "Superstar" - Ruben Studdard (Season 2)

Poor Velvet Teddy Bear. Straight to DVD, if you catch my drift. Not even this clip of his best performance does him justice--it doesn't even include the chorus, the best part.

Bonus Tracks

"What About Love" - Melissa McGhee (Season 5)

Who the hell is Melissa McGhee? Oh, right, yeah, I kind of remember. Anyway, who cares? She kills this Heart song.

"Midnight Train to Georgia" - Paris Bennett (Season 5)

Wee Paris is another Season 5-er. For the record, the greatest season of AI ever. I haven't heard Princess P yet, but I kind of want to.

"I Believe to My Soul" - Chikezie (Season 7)

Probably the greatest one-namer in AI history, among stiff competition like Fantasia, Mandisa, and Trenyce.

You may have noticed that my mix is free of winners Clay Aiken and Jordin Sparks, as well as former contestants Kellie Pickler, Bucky Covington, Constantine Maroulis, Mandisa, Tamyra Gray, Diana DeGarmo, Bo Bice (or Bob Ice, as I like to say), and Melinda Doolittle. All of these Idolers have cobbled together some kind of career, from Broadway and the Superbowl to The Bold and the Beautiful and Gospel TV and everything in between. Good for them. Just stay off of my iPod and we'll all be happy.