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This blog has been contributed by Zoom In Online's Film & TV Channel assistant, Giancarlo Sutton.

It's Friday again and that means there's a whole new crop of movies on which you can dump your money.  You've no doubt worked hard this week tilling the fields and weaning your young and you wish to take in a film that won't leave you mourning the loss of funds you could've spent on booze.  Choosing what film to see without any information is a bit like a round of "Press Your Luck," except landing on a Whammy won't leave you feeling insulted, robbed of your dignity, or wishing for physical harm to come about on another human being.  Bad movies can do that to you. Here at Zoom In Online, we're your friends and we want to prove it by providing you with as much information as we can before you attempt to wade through a potential cinematic mine field.  On top of the in-depth review provided every Friday (this week: Coraline), also be sure to peruse this list of new releases for Feb. 6 so you can be sure you're making the right decision.  Consider us your cinematic D.A.R.E., except funnier and without all the poor results.

The Pink Panther 2
Director: Harald Zwart
Writers: Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber, and Steve Martin

Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Steve Martin) is yet again in pursuit of the ever-elusive Pink Panther in the second rehashing of the classic series.  “More is better” appears to be this version’s motto, as the precious stone serves as only one of several of the film’s multi-cultural MacGuffins.  More stolen objects demand more detectives, and thus, Clousseau is joined by a supporting cast of varying cultural stereotypes, including Vicenzo (Andy Garcia), Pepperidge (Alfred Molina), and Kenji (Yuki Matsuzaki).

Every time Steve Martin stars in a movie after Bowfinger, an angel loses it’s wings.  While it saddens me that this once shining virtuoso of comedy has been steadily fading over the decades, I can’t blame the guy for trying to make a buck.  Much like the original remake, new director Harald Zwart of Agent Cody Banks is making this one for the kids.  Despite the venerable and humorous cast (notably featuring John Clease), I suspect the directorial efforts of this film will steer less towards the comedic interplay between Martin and his supporting cast, and more towards the interplay between Martin’s ass and the many surfaces it will fall upon over the course of the film.

Push
Director: Paul McGuigan
Writer: David Bourla

Cassie (Dakota Fanning), Nick Gant (Chris Evans), and Kira (Camilla Belle) form a group of “pushers,” “movers,” and “watchers” that dodge around a futuristic Hong Kong setting while being pursued by the government.  No, Little Miss Fanning is not part of a drug peddling crime syndicate (yet), she’s a psychic!  As a “watcher,” she sees into the future and views a very grim picture: the end of everything ever.  As a “mover,” Nick has the power to telekinetically move bullets and bad guys around with his mind.  In Nick, Cassie sees a chance to alter her ominous visions, and the two set out to protect Kira, an escaped “pusher” who has the power to mess with people’s minds, and also happens to have the key that can save or destroy the world. 

This film looks like what would happen if the series Heroes got drunk one night, and in a desperate act of self-loathing allowed the overly aggressive Jumper to have it’s way in the form of a self-destructive one night stand. Unwanted by the cold and listless Heroes, baby Push developed a low sense of self esteem and, as it grew, cared less and less for it’s own story, choosing instead to idealize and pursue the image of the absent father figure.  All this nonsense aside, I suspect this movie will have a lot of visual glitz with little substance.  If you choose to watch this movie, I caution you not to wear a monocle while doing so because the scenes of Dakota Fanning cursing and drinking may cause your shock to launch the eye piece off your face and embed itself into someone's skull.

He’s Just Not That Into You
Director: Ken Kwapis
Writer: Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein

An army of attractive celebrities (Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson, Ben Affleck, Kevin Connolly, and Drew Barrymore to name a few) square off in Baltimore for a no holds barred exacerbation of gender stereotypes. 

With a director responsible for License to Wed and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, a team of writers responsible for Never Been Kissed, and a story based upon a book written by the story editors of Sex and the City (Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo), this film is a manifested perfect storm of the chick flick.  It would seem Kwapis is attempting to pull an Altman, utilizing a massive cast with intersecting story lines, but I suspect he is biting off more than he can chew.  Should we maybe trust Kwapis for all the work he's done on The Office?  Oh wait, the movie also stars Jason Long?  No, don't trust him.

Fanboys
Director: Kyle Newman
Writer: Ernest Cline and Adam F. Goldberg

Five friends, bound by a mutual obsession with Star Wars, embark on a quest to break into Skywalker Ranch to watch the Phantom Menace so that their dying friend can witness it before his time is up.  Along the way, the team ends up reliving the movie, and encountering a few of their idols along the way (like Billy Dee Williams!)

It would seem that this film is a rather long inside joke and I suspect if you're not a carbon copy of the film’s five nerdy heroes, this joke will go over your head.  It was the real life Star Wars fanatics that ultimately pushed this film to release with Newman’s final cut, and by golly, he cut it for them.  Who else would have the patience and/or devotion to wait for however long it was that this film was pushed back?

Verdict: Fellas - looking to entertain your ladies?  Scope out He's Just Not Into This Long Title That Into You.  Parents - looking to entertain your kids?  Pink Panther 2 is your best (and that's not saying much) bet.  Dudes - want to watch some thugs get rolled?  Turn your brain off in Push.  Avoid Fanboys.  It was delayed for a reason.

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