Thursday Triple: Fantastic Four

I have officially succumbed to multi-million dollar movie marketing. I run a film blog that favors dramas, actresses, classics and foreign films and all I can think of lately is giant robots and silver surfers. Why am I thinking of The Transformers and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer? I don’t like Michael Bay films (in the case of the robots) and I certainly didn’t dig the first Four movie. Oh marketing! It makes slaves of us all.

Well, marketing and nostalgia. I blame the Fantastic Four fixation on my childhood comic book geekery. I loved the group and was bitterly disappointed when Peyton Reed (the underrated director behind Bring It On and Down with Love) was dropped from the movie version. I thought he’d bring some stylistic kick to the squarest and most retro of superhero teams. What we got last time out was a silly movie that didn’t embrace or understand its silliness. It just seemed a little sloppy… like a big budget blockbuster that wasn’t sure how to bust blocks.

I hated the first but I’m seeing the second (in theaters tomorrow). The studio’s promotional team can shout the Thing’s signature line “It’s clobbering time!” with pride. They planned. They marketed. They clobbered moviegoers into submission. Expect big crowds tomorrow.

I’m not at all ashamed of my formative years spent obsessing over the X-Men, Avengers, The Teen Titans and Green Lantern. I completely believe in comic books as an art form. I just wish that that innocent love led to better movie experiences. In the case of the first two Spider-Man movies sure, with other Marvel adaptations: not so much.

Here are three suggestions for improving this franchise should it continue

1. Less Doom more Namor the Sub-Mariner. This series bombed when it tried to triangulate the Susan and Reed love affair. The comic itself is fond of the faux love triangles. Namor was always more believable as a rival for Sue’s affections than that metallic baddie.

2. Bring on The Inhumans. They’re cool. ‘Nuff said.

3. Invisible Girl –sorry…Woman should make her clothes vanish. If you’re casting Jessica Alba in a role she really isn’t suited for, why not focus on her strengths? (And while she’s at it maybe she could do the same for The Human Torch’s costume. On account of, you know, Chris Evans.)

If you think my suggestions aren’t helping, leave your own in the comments. Give Marvel some free advice.

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