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Two weeks ago, all of our lives were enriched by Gawker's casual post about a mysterious animal corpse that had reportedly "washed up" on the shores of Montauk. If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here, or here, or here. Oh, and, get a clue. Since no one seems to be able to identify the thing (a phenomenon that I find highly suspicious and more bizarre than the creature itself), maybe we can find some truths about the Montauk Monster through music. For the record, my money's on Montauk P. Click here for the mix! 1. "Montauk Sunshine" - Philosophy Major Picture this: sunrise on Montauk...the salty breeze gently blows your SamRo fedora from your head, but you don't care, you're on vacation...your iPhone sleeps heavy and dormant in the pocket of your maxidress. You look down, just to be sure you're still on earth and not in heaven...and BAM: dead beaked dog (now if that's not a band name I don't know what). 2. "Meet Ze Monsta" - PJ Harvey Ok. I swore the name of this song was "Meet Ze Monstra." I turned to Amazon and iTunes for verification, which, with their claims of "mostra" only confused me. So I went directly to the source and dusted off my straight-from-1995 To Bring You My Love jewel case and lo and behold I (and Amazon and iTunes) was wrong. It's "monsta," which is even better. Miracle of all miracles, only Wikipedia got it right! 3. "Lizardman" - Montauk P This song was released in 1998. Ten years later, our monster appeared from the deep. Coincidence? Or is Montauk P a modern-day Nostradamus? 4. "Washed Up on a Beach of Infants" - Chromatics Though one can barely decipher the lyrics of this hot growly mess, the title alone conjures the weirdness of the entire Montauk Monster insanity. 5. "Modern Mystery" - Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin Oooh, a good little band from Springfield, Missouri talkin' 'bout modern mysteries! Squeal. 6. "Monster" - Meg & Dia There's something about this band that draws me to it. It starts with M. Never mind that this little song, reminiscent of the Cranberries' "Zombie" crossed with some hideous Miley Cyrus hit, is destined for soundtrack-land--for an episode of The Hills where Whitney teeters away from a boring brunch with LC. And that's all she does, and we don't care, we still watch, because she's tall and blond and thoughts make her head hurt. Almost as much as watching this show makes mine hurt (new season premiers Monday!) 7. "The Boogie Monster" - Gnarls Barkley I nominate Gnarls Barkley to write the definitive Montauk Monster party edit jam. It would basically be this song but with the addition of some bumping bass and a few laser sound effects. And just picture Cee-Lo and Dangermouse in the video: playing golf in madras shorts and crashing Diddy's White Party, etc. All while being haunted by images of the monster. 8. "My Beloved Monster" - Eels This is the point in the mix where the narrative arc shifts from horror and confusion and mystery to acceptance--nay--love of our monster. Thanks to the Eels for making that happen in such a melodic way. 9. "Monster Love" - Goldfrapp Yum yum yum, Goldfrapp. Always reminds me of a Friendly's Fribble (otherwise known as a Frappe) made with Goldschlager, but hey, there's nothing wrong with that. 10. "I Break 4 Monster Booty" - The John Scofield Band Come on now, how could I resist? Don't be scared of zazz music. Be scared of the fact that someone's desire to get busy with a monster inspired them to compose a piece of music. Bonus Tracks "Unsolved Mysteries" - Animal Collective Any song that conjures up images of Robert Stack in a trenchcoat is okay by me. "Surfin' On a Dead Girl" - Necro Beach This song is scary, as is this band's MySpace page. But so is our monster. See how that works? Will the mystery of MM ever be solved? I'm casting my vote for the animal disease center on Plum Island theory. Poor creature. Hey, at least he's famous.